Words by Erica Rian www.ericarian.com
There has never been a moment in time quite like what we’re living in today. Everything as a culture that we’ve used to keep ourselves busy with comforted by and numb to negative emotions is slowly being stripped away day by day.
Whats left ya’ll? Us. Our bare bones. And guess what, we’ve never looked better.
You might not recognize yourself in the mirror. Cause its practically a new you in a space you’ve been forced into. Honestly, I can’t remember when I had this much time to self reflect, to breathe! Guys, this is a chance to try on a new perspective. It’s like someone hit the reset button.
The industries we’ve created in our culture need this reset, the freedom, the excuse to get back to the basics and remember what’s actually important. With weddings this is always necessary. Over the decades they’ve become these events that not just the bride and groom but their families fixate over. Getting financially entangled to one another and going into massive debt are just some of the downfalls.
We’ve fallen victims to Pinterest dreams. Don’t get me wrong I love Pinterest for the creative freedom it allows us to explore. But like most things in life instead of being tools to help us they become things that control us. Unrealistic expectations are the killers of joy.
Did you cancel your wedding this month? Maybe its next month and you’re pretty sure it ain’t gonna happen. First of all, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry your having to let go of these big dreams and things you’ve been laboring over for months. Trying to throw the best party imaginable is no easy task. In life whenever our expectations aren’t met its super hard to recover and not let the depression continue to control our future.
A word of hope for you. THIS QUARANTINE DOES NOT HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM GETTING MARRIED. Your commitment to one another is what it’s all about. You don’t need the extra. It’s beautiful, its fun, but it is not ESSENTIAL. This moment in time that you’re living in, that you were created for… It just needs you to show up. It’s inviting you to be fully present. It’s challenging you to ground yourself in the things of life that truly hold value, the things that will be with you forever. Love, relationships and overcoming challenges.
Earlier this year a group of ridiculously talented vendors got together to throw a faux back yard wedding at my house. It was literally this exact thought that motivated this photo shoot. We wanted to explore what it could look like if all that mattered was the couple, their family and their friends. What if you just used what you already owned to decorate. Maybe you just empty your fridge and serve cheese on your kitchen island. What could be possible if you decided to just cut the extra and have the best backyard hang EVER. Our goal was to show you it was possible to have a bare bones wedding and still host the event of a lifetime.
We had no idea we were basically predicting the future. But here we are. We find ourselves in a bare bones time of life. You can embrace it. For sure be sad that you have to let go of what was. But know you can chose to smile. Smile because you have the opportunity to walk through the struggle of a world being flipped upside down with someone who loves you. We don’t like to hurt, we certainly don’t like to struggle. Yet the struggle is what builds grit. It is an amazing foundation for love. You and your partner can get though this… It could be the most romantic moment ever.
So if you cancelled your dream wedding this could be your invitation to something totally out of the box. A new dream. Maybe its your chance for a backyard wedding. It’s not perfect but its real. Peeps might have to stand 6 ft away but I promise you’ll still feel their love and support from a distance.
Zoom and Skype can close the gap for those that aren’t well enough to travel. If you find yourself in the place where you’re having to lay down the dream you once had (… the one from like two weeks ago…) I wanna encourage you that something else is waiting for you. On the other side of letting go is quite possibly the most amazing opportunity of your life. Just cause it doesn’t look like what you expected doesn’t mean its not the perfect thing for you. BE WHERE YOU ARE. This moment has been waiting for you. Let’s change the world by simply getting back to the basics.
Photos: Elise Aileen Photography
Styling + Home Design: Erica Rian
Models: Tracy Shapoff + Austin Bradley + Stina Trignani
Makeup: Unveiling Designs by Heather
Hair: Katie Bugland
Florals: Clara Lam
Jewelry: Hawk N Harper
Place Card + Menu: Sara Davis
Dress: Desiree Heartstock